one month

baby jane is one month old today...one month!

i can hardly believe it...which i guess isn't too surprising given the month we've had. 

let's recap...

arrival of our sweet baby girl

becoming a family of five

a scary car accident

tears & prayers of thanksgiving

new car shopping

fevers for all 5 defoyds

lots of school missing

much doctor visiting

visits, meals and loves from friends and family
tragedy mourning

list making and shopping

advent reflecting

gift making, baking and wrapping

appendicitis surgery happening

hospital recovering

savior rejoicing 

family loving

present giving and receiving

4 year old birthday boy celebrating

phew...what a month!

yes some definite lows...but far more highs...and countless joys.

happy one month baby jane!

my aching mama heart

it took me days to process the news of last friday.  i couldn't hear it, read it, see it. i stayed away from the tv, radio, email, computer, facebook.  i wouldn't believe it.  i couldn't cry.  i couldn't pray. i was numb.

the bits i knew were from wes - wrapped in his sweet voice - protecting me from the brutal reality of what happened.  the words of my pastor on sunday morning of hope and promise - yet i was unable to connect it since i still hadn't acknowledged it...seen it...read it..heard it..believed it.

i could love though.  i could cuddle my kids longer.  i could say yes more.  i could see them better.  i could hear them clearer.  i could tuck them in tighter. and that's when it hit me, broke me, shattered me... that all those mamas in newtown can't.

so bit by bit - i opened my laptop to read, see and hear.  to see those faces.  to say those names. to read age 6, age 6, age 6 over and over again while my own 6 year old is safe and happy at home.

oh how my mama heart aches for those families...mourns with tears to fill a river...and prays to our loving father in heaven to wrap his arms around them, us and those who have entered his gates too soon.

i can't really say that i believe it anymore now than when i didn't know.   but i can say that with deep sadness and brokenness there is love and hope to be found.

a call to love more...to hope more.   a call to come together and carry this heavy burden together, as one body, family, community, nation in a way that brings change.  brings more love.  brings more hope.

we just have to.

thankful tuesday, 12/11

• joy...pure joy!
• baby jane...every little thing about her
• my beautiful and amazing family...every little thing about them
• thoughtful and loving friends and family...every little thing about you
• sisters...SISTERS!
• little brother...big brother transitions
• that i get to do all of this with mr. defoyd...lucky girl i am
• a fever free home (finally)
• recovery and gratefulness after the jam
• encouraging and insightful parent-teacher conferences for e&b
• breathtaking worship, message and setting at church
• advent countdown at home (this has been even better year 2...kids are loving it)
• ella's nose in a book
• nap time snuggles with my little ones
• our little sleeper...being rested
• blankets & books for hurricane sandy families with the girl scout troop
• jane being loved on by 12 little daisy scouts
• visits and loves from friends & family
• middle of the night feedings by the glow of the christmas tree

home

home sweet home.

our little family of 5 is settling in at home.

after a beautiful and healthy arrival of baby jane, we have spent the last few days balancing the incredible joy of our new baby alongside some crazy high fevers, emotional kiddos and a car accident.

jane & i with fevers and antibiotics after delivery.

ella battling a nasty virus with crazy high fever.

bennett wishing little sister was a brother and missing his mama.

an incredibly scary car accident for wes & the kids on the way to pick-up jane & i at the hospital.

 the girls' fevers have passed.

bennett adores his sister and has transitioned well into his role as big brother.

we are beyond grateful that the kids and wes are okay after the accident (see below).

joy...exhaustion...praise.

home sweet home.

note:  on the way to hospital to pick-up jane & i to come home, the kids and wes were in a car accident.  an elderly man blacked out and drove into wes' lane hitting them head-on.  simultaneously a car hit them from the rear.  crazy scary...a totaled vehicle...but everyone was okay (thank you jesus)...just really shaken up and a wee sore.      

first moments

a few of our first moments with baby jane...

moments that changed our hearts forever.

welcome jane ruth

jane ruth defoyd

tuesday, november 27th

4:22 p.m.

8.8lbs 

20.5inches
daugter
little sister

adored

expecting

i thought i'd have a little bundle in my arms by now...but alas i'm still expecting.
anxiously expecting the arrival of our little boy or girl.

feeling incredibly torn between being frustrated that he or she is not yet here and that my body is playing lots of tricks on me - yet grateful for more time to prepare our home, hearts and children for the arrival.

expecting...