due date reflections

august 5th

10 years ago this was my official due date

for baby arrival, parenthood, motherhood.

i've been thinking about this all week.

remembering fondly the anticipation, fears, tears, and whirlwind of emotions

as wes and i cherished our final days/evenings of it being just us.

i remember sitting on the same blue couch we still have

with my very swollen feet propped on his lap as we

prayed and dreamed about life with a baby, life as parents, life as a family.

10 years ago.

granted ella wasn't born until 10 days later, 

but oh how the due date brings me back to that time.

the time when it was just us.

the time when we weren't parents.

the time when i wasn't a mom.

and oh my goodness has this week brought me back.

this week's middle of the night fever, bedtime accident, bad dream.

this week's rearview mirror reflections in the car on the way to camp, football practice, 

playdates, barber, library, grocery store and pharmacy.

this week's teeth brushing, finger nail clipping and pony tail tying.

this week's laundry, dinner prep and  dishwashing.

this week's story time, tickle fights, couch cuddles and piggy back rides.

i wasn't doing any of this 10 years ago today.

and then 10 days later it all changed.

everything.