2 months ago today,
on a stormy day,
while in a normal act of motherhood,
i ran head first into
the trunk of my car,
resulting in a horrid concussion.
the injury has defined
so many of my days and my moments
over the past two months.
in what i've
had to say no to.
in what i've
said yes to,
but then couldn't,
or had to figure out another way.
in what i've
rearranged to make time
for weekly / bi-weekly
doctor and physical therapy appointments.
in what i've
asked for help with,
and how i've been able to help.
in what i've
looked like
as i fashion very bright neon-colored ear plugs,
or toilet paper rolled up and stuffed into my ears.
in what i've
prayed for,
as i learn to let go
of the expectations and timing
i set for myself,
and trust the lord's plans.
early on,
i dwelled in the frustration
of being hurt and sidelined.
i dwelled in the utter stupidity
and reality
of the self-inflicted accident.
i dwelled in my very
raw feelings of anxiousness and fear.
but this morning,
while i was out collecting eggs and
realized it had been two months,
i wasn't overcome
with feeling of loss,
but instead
feelings of gratitude and awe.
oh and my t-shirt basket
really made me smile.
because even in the midst of all the
diversions, redirections,
loneliness and fear,
i have
experienced the most
beautiful and amazing
love, care,
family, friendship and healing.
because even if the last two months,
looked different,
sounded different (thanks earplugs),
felt different
and just was all kinds of different,
it was filled to the brim with memories and experiences,
bits and bobs
the were lived out amidst all the different.
and because even if this timing
was not at all
what i anticipated or would have hoped for,
it became a very important time
to reflect, plan and build
something i am so excited to share with you...soon.
very soon!
but today,
i'm siting right here,
in the deep gratitude for the season it's been,
and in the sweet anticipation and hope for the season to come.
xo!
