Monday, November 28, 2016

squats on a monday morning

today's bits & bobs advice.
when volunteering in your son's 
7 am before school gym class on the monday after thanksgiving,
do not try to impress your son and his 2nd grade buddies 
by doing more squats than they can in a 5 minute period of time.
even if you kill it in the moment.
even if you show them you can do them while lip synching and squatting 
in coordination with the tunes being played on the teacher's boom box.
even if you show them you can do them with your eyes closed.
even if you show them that you can squat and really hold it.
even if you eventually inspire them by throwing in a few squats while doing the dab.
don't do it.
don't do 200 squats on the monday after thanksgiving.
don't try to beat a bunch of 2nd grade boys.
don't try to inspire them with the dab.
don't try to be a cool boy mom.
just don't.
like me, 
you won't be able to walk, 
or get in your car,
or climb the stairs to your daughter's pre-school,
or catch your dog when he's getting into your trash barrel,
or pick-up trash that is blowing around your yard,
or go to the bathroom,
or tuck your kids into bed,
or look your son in the eyes,
or tell your husband what you did, and why you did it.
just don't.
take my advice.

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