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Thursday, November 1, 2018

happy tree's halloween reflections


yesterday was halloween.
the kids rocked their costumes
& trick-or-treating.
the adults rocked the halloween hustle,
sugar high craze & spiked cider sipping.

we had a blast,
but let me tell you...
i'm kinda excited to flip the calendar to november,
 to catapult the jack-o-lanterns into the compost,
and to box up the ghosts, spiders and skeletons.
let me tell you why...

* * *

ella was eeyore...
she and some of her friends
dressed-up as winnie the pooh characters.
they were totally adorable.
and i more than loved seeing this group of 7th grade girls
celebrate the sweetness and childhood innocence of pooh,
while skipping around our own backyard one hundred acre wood.


but also my girl was eeyore...
in a season when i am daily parenting
amidst tween blahs,
and encouraging my girl to shine.
i'm sorry but i can't relate to eeyore.
some days i kinda hate eeyore's attitude,
and would like to be the one to nail that tail back onto his behind.
but i can't hate my kid.
and i can't nail her tail back on because it's sewed to her onesie.
why couldn't she be tigger or piglet?

also...
the acquiring of this eeyore costume
was more than a little stressful.
first...
because eeyore is a slightly self-absorbed tween,
we HAD to order it at the EXACT moment
that she chose for us to get it (october 10th)...
instead of patiently waiting and looking for it at the
local halloween store like i suggested.
and...
since at that EXACT moment
i was busy doing other things,
distracted and annoyed, i said...
"fine, go ahead."
hit the purchase button to the online amazon account
that already has my credit card saved.
which means...
mom did NOT review the order or have the opportunity
 to select a costume that was not coming from CHINA.
so...
as of october 30 it still hadn't arrived,
(surprise, surprise)
in fact the arrival date was bumped to november 5th.

thankfully...
our neighbor down the street
knew someone who was eeyore last year.
she then then jumped through incredibly thoughtful superhero hoops,
on halloween day,
with her newborn as her sidekick,
to pick-up the costume for MY daughter.

 phew...
(thank you joy)
winnie the pooh halloween saved!
but can you guess what ella's / eeyore's response was
when i excitedly put the costume on and texted her a picture of me wearing it?
are you ready for it...
"nice."
not even an exclamation point.

she has lost phone privileges for her bit,
and will be wearing eeyore pajamas until she graduates.


moving on to bennett...
in years past my sweet boy was an adorable harry potter,
tom brady, superman and one year,
just to make his mom happy and go with my theme,
dressed up like a ridiculous giraffe.

this year..
a tatted up rapper wearing a leather jacket,
gold chain necklace and diamond stud earrings.

in years past his mama applied a lightening bolt to a little harry's forehead,
and eye black to a little tom Brady.
this year...
his mama carefully applied a scorpion tattoo to the back of his neck,
and a gothic clock sleeve tattoo to his forearm.

he was happy,
which made me happy
along with the "my little boy is growing up mama tears."
he really did rock it (pun intended),
but also went off to school
and trombone practice today still all tatted up...
because who showers on halloween?

and oh...
these massive fake tattoos are legit.
the one he applied to his little sister's torso
a few weeks ago is still holding on.


jane was a unicorn...
not bennett's tatted up rapper witch.
but...
she was almost dorothy from the wizard of oz.

she actually picked out the
dorothy costume & ruby red slippers
back at the beginning of october,
but then made a last minute switch to unicorn.
 not surprisingly,
the 5 year old kindergartener
opted for the sparkly and oh so comfy fleece onesie,
over the high-neck polyester tunic and 1930's jumper dress.

admittedly i busted out my very best
bribes and mama guilt in an effort
to persuade her to stick with dorothy.
i even shed tears while telling her how much dorothy means to me...
that dorothy was my childhood superhero...
that the quote in my high school yearbook is dorothy's.

"if i ever go looking for my heart's desire again,  i won't look any further than my own backyard...
because if it isn't there...then i never really lost it to begin with."

when she originally chose dorothy
i literally wept in the aisles of party city.
i couldn't believe my baby would be dressed as my childhood hero,
with ruby red slippers clicking together in my backyard...
("there's no place like home, there's no place like home.")
during a season when my heart's desire and new ventures
are all happening at home in my backyard.

nope.
she was unicorn...
and oh so happy about it too.



which brings me to myself...
i was a bob ross happy little tree.
and even this was complicated,
due to some things going on with my dad,
which has made these last few weeks tough...
super tough.
so putting on a happy face,
or happy little tree branches,
 is what i've had to do for days...
and not just for halloween parties or trick-or-treating.

my dad,
and my relationship with my dad is complicated.
i think i want to tell you more about this someday,
because it's a big part of my story...
but for now
know that i love him,
but there is a lot of stuff.

my dad has stuff...
my dad is going through stuff...
his stuff has a direct impact on our stuff...
which means his stuff becomes my stuff...
and my stuff as the oldest kid to divorced parents becomes the grown up stuff...
and the grown up stuff brings up the childhood stuff...
and the childhood stuff is big sister stuff...
and the big sister stuff is still childhood stuff...
but the childhood stuff is now grown up stuff...
and all this childhood and grown stuff is made-up of
love and loss,
truth and tragedy,
grief and grace,
sickness and sadness,
confusion and compassion,
and is hard,
really...really... really hard.

 so while jane as dorothy didn't pan out to be
thematic for me in this current season...
the happy little tree did.
and while the rest of the halloween decorations will be packed up this afternoon,
im not sure i'll be able to put away the tree branches just yet.
it's good thing they kinda match our thanksgiving decor,
we are gonna need them.
so keep that 2 inch paint brush handy bob ross...
but please don't beat the devil out of it!

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