Monday, June 6, 2011

hard...really hard

today was hard...really, really hard. we awoke in such good moods, refreshed and excited for our day. i thought - how great on a monday! a day that was meant to be filled with fun playdates, planting at the farm and ending with dinner & ice cream at dq on our way to wes' softball game. an easy monday, right?

oh my, oh way. it was hard. it was fierce. it was loud. it was sad. a day that should have ended with a dq blizzard, ended with me in tears while sweeping the kitchen, in sorrow that i'm failing as a mom.

you see - we've been working with ella on her emotional inability to apologize. i totally understand and have had so much encouragement that this is a tough thing for kids.  saying sorry is hard... i get it.  but monday's battle threw me down....hard!

sadly, it was all triggered by the simplest of things. a little tiff with her friend. a tiff that could be easily remedied with a simple apology. but she couldn't - she wouldn't.

i embraced this tiff as a good teaching moment. i guess you could say i "picked my battle"...and boy oh boy did i lose.  we (ella & i) tried so hard. we prayed. we hugged. we talked about it and took baby steps. we took hard steps. i took things away. we took a break and came back to it. i stood my ground. but no, she couldn't - she wouldn't - she doesn't. so i broke down, scared and very sad.

lord give me strength and wisdom.

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